Earlier today someone pointed me to my either or thinking and challenged me to use my “and”. What she was doing was gently calling me out on my tendency to go to one extreme or the other, and stay there. It is something that I noticed in myself within the last few years, but I always find it good to have a reminder when I am settling back into that way of thinking. As much as I am a believer that there are absolutes, quite often there are also also grey areas. I have also realised that it is so much easier to notice my thoughts when they are directed outside of me, and to ignore them when I am speaking about myself.
After our conversation, I started to think about some of the places where I use this “either/or” way of thinking.
Is it really true that either my life is together or I'm a hot mess? Either I fit into one of these boxes or there is something wrong with me? Either I’m all in or I’m all out?
When I thought about it, I realized that my truth has often been one of varieties, of contradictions. Of being too introverted to be extroverted. Of being too intuitive to be a scientist. Of having too many interests to “find my passion”. Of being too hilarious to take myself seriously. LOL!!! So I started to wonder where else I could apply it, as I navigate life. And I could see it everywhere. Here are a few more of my truths that I am starting to get my head around in this part of my journey.
People can take personal responsibility for creating their own reality in life. AND there are systems in place designed to oppress and disadvantage certain groups which will affect their lives.
Someone can be inspiring and change your life. AND he can be flawed, and even predatory.
We are individuals. AND we cannot live without each other - we are connected.
I can be excellent at my job. AND want to run away from it.
I can wholeheartedly love someone. AND be relieved when they are gone.
I may not be an expert. AND I can still help and serve and provide value as a coach.
This can be a short piece. AND be a blog post!
Where can you use your AND today?
I send you big love from a small island.
And of course - I took the above photo when I visited Switzerland, and it shows one of my favourite “ANDs” - I can be an island girl AND love a snow capped mountain!!