Permission to PAUSE (The Permission series part 3)

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I am wrapping up the permission series, with the third permission slip - permission to pause. In the previous posts, we talked about giving ourselves permission to quit the projects that may not be aligned with our current values, and permission to write the story that is calling to us - instead of what we think we should be writing. 

I know that things can sound easy when they are wrapped up in a nice bow (or blog post). But when you are deep in a project that feels as if you have spent a lot of your time and energy on it, you may find it difficult to give yourself the permission slips that you think will take you away from what you are working on. 

I have found that this is where giving yourself permission to pause can come in. A pause can be a time where you allow yourself to get up and walk away from what you are creating to give yourself some perspective. It could be a short 20 minute walk, shower or change of activity. It could be overnight, or a day or even a week as you don’t put pressure on yourself to look at the project, and instead you turn to other activities that refresh you such as chatting to friends, journaling, or some other form of craft (crochet and cross-stitch are my go-to’s for this).

Or it could be an unspecified amount of time, where you give yourself permission to take a break from what you are doing, with no idea when you are going to return to it, but with the intention to return to it at some point in the future.

And that is the important thing about the pause - you are giving yourself space from your project, but it is your intention to return to it, with fresh perspective, and feeling revived. Just as some creatives are afraid to quit, many of us are also afraid to pause. We worry that if we pause, we may not return to it, or that we might lose our train of thought. We may have memories of other projects that we took a break from and never returned to, or heard stories like this from other creatives. We may already feel as if we are struggling with imposter syndrome and have the idea that if we pause - even for a moment - our doubts will get the better of us, and we will never return to complete what we are working on. And lastly, we may have a sense of urgency - either real or imagined - that makes a pause feel like time wasted.

However I have found that giving ourselves permission to pause can be the thing we need that allows us to complete our projects well, or conversely give us clarity on when to quit, and when to give permission to pivot, and change the direction of our story. Here are three things I remind myself of when I am reluctant to pause.

1. No writing is wasted. Sometimes when I consider taking a pause, in the back of my mind, I worry that if I change the direction of my story (or give it up altogether) that I would have wasted all of that time and energy on what I have created so far. It is here that I have to remind myself that no writing is wasted. I am a firm believer that writing - like any other form of creativity - is a practice, and requires practice. The same way that I know the value of playing the scales on my flute, and learning basic songs that I may never perform for an audience, I know that when I write - even projects that I don’t finish - I am becoming a more skilled writer, and getting better at listening to what the story has to tell me. In addition, ideas, phrases and sometimes even whole paragraphs from my so-called “abandoned” pieces often find their way into future blog posts, or projects. 

2. Not writing is a part of writing. This may sound like a strange concept, but I have found that central to my writing is the time I take to be a storylistener, and an observer in the real world. Taking walks, reading a book, going for a swim, watching the sunset, and the conversations that I have, provide so much inspiration for my writing. I get so many ideas when I am not in front of the computer, or poised over my notebook, and those times have become as valuable to my writing as the writing itself.

3. It is during the pause that I can hear myself. Sometimes the permission that I need and the stories that are calling to me are whispers that I cannot hear, as they are drowned out by the noise of the inner narratives telling me that I am not a good enough writer, and the pressure I am putting on myself to finish what I started. Sometimes the pause is what I need to truly hear myself, and know what I really want to be writing. It is during the pause that I can get clarity on what to quit, and what is wanting to be written in that moment.

These are reminders to me that it is ok to pause, and that it can even be beneficial to pause. 

I hope that they remind you the same, and that today’s blog post will leave you feeling like it is ok to pause, and walk away from your project for a little bit. 

What do you need to pause from? What will you do instead? And if you try this, please come back and let me know what happened after you paused.

And I send you big love from a small island.

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