November Blog Challenge - My blogging love story

Today’s post was inspired by Javacia of See Jane Write, and her post for today Girl meets blog. Reading her post for today, as part of her #BlogLikeCrazy has inspired me to reflect on my own love affair with blogging.

So my confession for today - my first “real” blog was this one! I started this blog about 2 and a half years ago, in the run up to my fortieth birthday as I wanted to write about the lessons I learned before I turned 40. Prior to this, I had written sporadically for several years, as and when the inspiration struck me, and when I really thought about it, that was how it had been my entire life.

I loved writing as a child and teenager, but I always thought my writing would be in the form of long fiction books with juicy complicated plots, and worlds that existed only in my head. When I went to university, most of my writing was physiology essays (woop woop) and after that, my writing consisted of the long emails that myself and my friends would write each other as we lived half a world apart. (Oddly enough, these emails would be the inspiration of much of my writing).

While I was at university, I developed another love - one for travelling and photography. I loved to visit new places, and see landscapes that up until that point had only existed for me on screen or in a book. But after my first trip, I learned a valuable lesson - my memory was not as good as I thought it was. No matter how good the trip was, or how amazing, six months later I couldn’t remember it in nearly the amount of detail that I thought I would. This inspired me to begin to chronicle my trips - first on the back of postcards (most of which I still have) then through emails to my friends and families with the photos I took to complete them! It was through this that I discovered a love for writing non-fiction, which took me completely by surprise. I spent several years writing about my trips and taking photos, and my best friend created a book from this writing and photos many years ago - and so the first book that I wrote was born from the email updates that I sent my friends, and the photos she and I took as we went “Around the world in 21 days”. 

Seeing my words and photos in print felt incredible, but even better was the feeling I got when I wrote about life and my experiences. I realized how much I enjoyed sharing experiences through my writing, and I continued to do this - through more email updates to friends and family, then a free blog (I can’t even remember where it is or what it was called!) and then through notes on Facebook, until eventually I settled on starting an actual blog - this one! 

Writing these lessons has brought me so much more than I ever expected! Some time ago, I wrote about the lessons I learned from writing these lessons, and I will include an excerpt from that post below.

One of my favourite sayings is – hindsight is 20/20. It really is a beautiful thing and sometimes I find myself wishing that I was a character in one of those fairy tales I read when I was younger and I could go back and have a do-over, knowing then what I know now. Except the funny thing is – I don’t know if I would! Sometimes, I wonder if I would do things differently if I went back, despite my feelings about how things may have turned out about individual incidents that occurred. And the truth is – I don’t think I would. Often I have found that when things don’t seem to be going to plan, with hindsight I can see benefits that came out of the situation. I can see where I avoided something horrible in the long term, or grew and developed as a result. That is why I started this blog – so that I could reflect on the lessons I learned from less than perfect outcomes. Once I started to reflect, I could see so much good coming out of past situations that didn’t seem good at the time. And writing those lessons has in itself taught me a few valuable lessons. Lessons about lessons – these are my lessons for today.

1.       Writing lessons allows me to forgive, and remember more fondly. I much prefer this approach than forgive and forget – partially because if I forgot then this blog would have been very short indeed!! When I am able to see the lessons that I learned from situations involving others, it is easy to let go of any annoyance or anger that I might have felt towards them. It makes it easier for me to forgive them or myself (whichever is needed at the time) and my memory of the situation is less harsh. Sometimes, I realize where I had a part to play in the situation, and it allows me to change how I act or react in the future. Sometimes I realize I need to change my approach to the other person involved. Either way, I can let things go more easily and it helps with the decisions I make now. This is actually the second lesson

2.       Writing lessons allows me to see my daily life differently. Looking at the lessons affects not only how I reflect on past events but also affects how I consider events in the present. It doesn’t necessarily come easily (and sometimes I have to remind myself) but knowing that negative experiences or situations often appear positive once I see them in the rear view mirror actually makes them easier to deal with on a daily basis. For me a great example of this is when I fractured my ankle. As difficult as it was to manage, in the back of my mind, I thought to myself – someday you are going to look back and see the good in this. Knowing that makes coping with failures or trials in the moment slightly easier. And lessons also affect how I look at the future!

3.       Writing lessons allows me to consider the future with optimism. Once I started looking at life in such a way that even negative experiences could present opportunities for growth and lessons, it even effects how I can make longer term decisions, and consider the future. I tend to be a perfectionist, and would often agonize over decisions especially big decisions that I have to make, weighing up pros and cons so that I can make that perfect decision. But no decision is perfect, and sometimes what seems like a good decision can lead to an unexpected outcome, because no matter how much I believe it to be true, there are some aspects of the outcome that I have no control over. If I remove the need for the outcome to be perfect and I accept that something good will come out of either outcome, I am more likely to take the plunge instead of wavering between options without taking action. This way of thinking has helped tremendously with progress over perfection. It doesn't mean that I don't make the occasional pros/cons list, but it means that I am more courageous when it comes to taking chances and making decisions that might be scary or with an outcome that I am not sure of. It makes it easier to overcome the negative voices that often talk me out of taking action.

In addition, writing this blog has taught me that I can finish what I start, and that I wouldn’t die if I shared my work with the world. I wrote and published a book, but I also reached a lifelong goal and wrote a fiction book last year during NaNoWrimo, and this year I am planning to write another one. My blog brought me another life, one that I never imagined and that has brought me great joy. 

So that is my blog love story. What’s yours? Whether it is blogging or some other activity, what has opened a door for you to a world you love but never imagined? I would love to hear your stories below.

And I send you big love from a small island.

PS - check out my feature on See Jane Write about how blogging helped me write my book! And join us to talk about it on Sunday November 3rd at 4pm EST (5 pm here in Barbados). RSVP here

PPS I took the above photo when I visited Dallas. Go BIG or go home!!! It is one of my mottos in Dallas and in life!