Asking for feedback on your writing
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Putting our work out there can be scary. And yet, sharing our work is critical if we want our writing to create change. To those of you who want to publish a book, or stand on stage, or create content that causes that ripple effect, or make a reader smile or think - we need to release it to the world. Sharing our writing is important - it builds competence, confidence and connection. But one of the fears that can inevitably come with sharing our work is the fear of negative feedback.
Now it is true that negative feedback can be a part of writing. Some time ago, I wrote a post about overcoming the fear of judgement when writing, and I shared this quote:
A quote that stuck with me from George Bernard Shaw - All great truths begin as blasphemy. It was given as a testament to the fact that some of the best ideas start out as rejections, and that creativity and moving away from the norm is often met with criticism and rejection. So that if I think something is going to be rejected, then it's probably a great idea!
.And I know that there are so many writers who have fears around having their work edited because they worry about receiving negative feedback. And having negative feedback is hard. Even folks who we think are enlightened and have built up thick skin and who don’t care about the opinion of others, or who know that a criticism of their writing isn’t a personal criticism - can cringe if there is negative feedback of their work.
So first - I want to acknowledge that it may be easier said than done. But one thing I have found has helped me to navigate the world of feedback when it comes to my writing is to become better at asking for feedback. While I know that I cannot control the feedback that people give me, becoming better at asking for feedback has changed my relationship with so called criticism, and has as a result given me the confidence to share my work more widely. Here are 3 of the strategies I have used to better ask for feedback.
1. Deciding what type of feedback you want. This is the first step - before you put something out there and ask for feedback, what type of feedback do you want? Is this something you are creating for a client, and therefore want feedback from the types of people who would be your client?
Do you want feedback from a fellow professional who does similar work to you, or who you know has achieved the type of results you are hoping to achieve? Do you want feedback on the flow, or the grammar, or the layout? Do you want to know how it makes people feel? Do you want the opinion of a fellow writer in the same genre? Or someone who reads that genre?
Understanding the type of feedback you want will be very helpful in being able to ask for what you want, and find the right people to ask. And as a general rule - if you know that there are people out there who are generally negative and hurtful - do NOT ask them for feedback - at least not in the first instance. This brings me to my next point.
2. Deciding who you want to ask for feedback. As I mentioned above, once you know what sort of feedback you want, you will have a better idea of who to ask. But if I could say one thing to be sure of - particularly if this is your first time sharing - make sure that you find a space that feels safe for you to ask for this feedback.
For example, if you are in a group with fellow writers, this may be a great place to ask, particularly if there is a forum for this.
You may have an accountability partner, or a close friend who you know will be kind, but also give you constructive feedback. I have a friend who first comes to those of us that she can trust to hype her up and encourage her while we give her feedback, and once she feels ready, she approaches people that she knows will rip it apart, so that she can use their feedback to make her concepts stronger. Maybe that works for you. But if it doesn’t, then don’t ask those types of people! And definitely don’t ask a person who knows nothing about your work, and who will then just be giving their opinion - unless that is what you want. Remember - feedback goes deeper than a person’s opinion, if you ask the right person. This brings me to my next point.
3. Ask for what you want. Often when you ask people for feedback, what they give you is their opinion. And that may be what you want! But having thought about what type of feedback you want, and who you are going to ask, it is a better idea to actually verbalize what you want.
Do you want to know if there are typos or grammatical errors? Do you want to know about the flow or readability, or imagery, or layout, or if it’s too long or short? Then ask specifically for that. Sometimes when I am writing something and I ask for feedback, I very specifically ask for good feedback only! Because I don’t want any negativity. It is absolutely ok for you to ask for what you want. And it is ok to reject feedback that people give you that you didn’t ask for, and to remember not to ask that person again.
I hope that this helps when you are asking for feedback - whether it’s for a social media post or blog post, or a chapter of your book. (And by the way - I often advise folks not to get feedback on the first chapter of their book - or while they are writing - but that is a whole other topic for another time!! Just trust me on that one).
And if you want to have some professional feedback and assistance with your writing, then drop me a line and let’s chat!
Until then - happy writing, and I send you big love from a small island.
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