What I learned when I became an aunt

I have written about this before, mostly because this has been my all time favourite lesson over the past decade, with the birth of my nephew 5 years ago. It is amazing to me how much has changed over the past 5 years since he was born.

Life has changed - we have gotten accustomed to accommodating a small child into our different activities such as going to the beach (which he loves), travelling, even making Sunday lunch - and this can require a little bit of creativity. In all fairness - sometimes it is easy. For the first time in a few decades, I have a box of toys in my house, and in addition, I have to remind myself that if there is a ball anywhere in the house he is going to find it (even if I didn’t realize it was there) and want to play with it somewhere in the living room. I always make sure there is a snack for him (this can range from a yogurt pot to a plate of pasta) and lastly I have to release any expectation of ANYTHING going how I expect it to go - and then I’m ready for him!!

He has also changed so much in the past 5 years. I am always amazed when I look back at pictures of that cute little baby, and think that now he is such a fun little boy, who is totally cheeky and spends most of his time making jokes, hatching plans and then implementing them. He is super creative, and I love how much faith he has in his own ability to achieve things which recently have ranged from going fishing to building a house with his friends. He is thoughtful, and asks the best questions (like the one that inspired this post) and sometimes gives the best answers too!

And in addition - I have changed so much. I have enjoyed (almost) every minute of being an aunt so far, and looking forward to many more adventures. Becoming an aunt, I have learned that I am capable of tremendous amounts of love that I didn’t know existed, and I have also seen how easily we can turn into our parents!! Remember all of those things that annoyed us about them - that is us now!! It has given me new compassion for my own parents - even though they are no longer with me - and it has changed how I remember some of my times growing up. And it has given me new respect for my sister and for all the parents out there (and teachers!) You guys are MIRACLE WORKERS!!! And I do not mean that lightly.

So even though he is at the age now where he tells me that “he wants to be his own person” and doesn’t want me to tell him what to do, to hug him, to make him put away his toys (to name a few), I like the fact that he also thinks that we (my sisters and I) don’t play enough and does his best to bring us along for the ride when he is having his fun. And while for him fun ranges from racing up and down the beach, to making and decorating gingerbread cookies, for me fun tends to be less energetic these days (although it is almost impossible not to join in with him when he is doing these things). Since he has arrived, I have rekindled my love for corny jokes (and let’s face it - that never went too far away!) as well as my love for writing poetry. So in that spirit, I am putting a poem below that he inspired me to write. It has previously appeared elsewhere on the blog, but anyone who has spent any time with a 5 year old would know - it can’t hurt to repeat yourself, and often it is an absolute necessity!!

It's true sometimes the big lessons come from the smallest place

A fact I am reminded of each time I see your face

Your twinkly eyes and hearty laugh, the funny things you say

Can brighten up the darkest room, bring sunshine to my day.

But let's start at the beginning of how you filled my heart with joy

It started as all good stories start. It started with a boy.

"How would you feel about a nephew"... That's what my sister said

All kinds of thoughts started rolling around inside my head.

Even before you had arrived, before you were even here

I should tell you having a boy around was my greatest fear.

I come from a healthy stock of girls; we are the sisters 3!

How could we teach you about boy life (Especially how to pee?!?!?!)

A wise friend with an older son advised me not to stew.

 "Just wait until he knows himself, He'll show you what to do"

And so you came... And tiny! And in those early stages

So afraid was I to break you, I wouldn't hold you for ages!

Then one day they brought you over and to my great surprise

I opened up the door to you and saw your shining eyes!

You seemed so pleased to see me you broke out the biggest grin

You opened up your arms to me and boy you drew me in!

I'd never been so happy, I thought my heart would melt

I started feeling mushier than I had ever felt

I remember those early days I always craved your smile

You always seemed so cheerful and boy I loved your style!

You'd reach up to my table and swing under the ledge,

Then one day I saw how much you grew you could see over the edge.

Your legs grew long, you learned to walk and then began to run

And when you saw I couldn't keep up it really became fun!

Your words became full sentences, your kisses better placed,

Your hugs got so much tighter and you took up much more space.

As you grew in stature, your personality expanded

You started to be dominant, our attention you demanded.

Your tricks became legendary, with your great comedic timing,

You became more acrobatic and developed skills for climbing!

Eventually we realized your crib held you no more,

You'd hop right over the railing and jump onto the floor.

Your singing voice can always be heard, in tune you always stay

Your rhythm completely on point as you beat your drum and sway.

 I loved it when you started to notice things, it really made my day

When you say look the steel donkey on the ABC highway.

When Christmas time came around your face was filled with glee

Whenever we went anywhere that had a Christmas tree.

Quite often you surprise me, your logic is so steady

Soon you'll be headed off to school and baby I'm not ready.

You teach me to laugh loudly and showed me how much I care

And that more love was deep inside my heart than I knew was there.

With every inch you get taller my heart doubles in size

I feel as if in all the world you are the greatest prize

The love you show me with that smile and cheeks so round and Rosy

You are in life a joy to me!

My sweet little Nkosi.

And I send you big love from a small island!

Above is an example of one of the schemes he hatched - when he decided he wanted to ride a horse!

You can find another poem inspired by auntie life here

And here are some of my own unanswered questions.