Planning vs Magic

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Planning vs Magic?

At the end of 2018 I wrote a blog post about the inner struggle I was having between planning and magic. It is now 2021 and I thought I would pull it out again (in homage to the great Verzuz battles brought to us in 2020) and update it, as it is the new year, and the first year in a long time that I have actually set goals, made resolutions.

So, I should give you some background.

I am a planner. I don’t love it, but I love being in control and so planning is everything to me. I have had a paper planner and daybook every year since I was 16 years old, to this day, and I use it. I love a mind map, a whiteboard, apps that allow me to tick off my daily achievements, and even a vision board. Up until a few of years ago, I was the person who made new year’s resolutions and actually kept them!

Make one new recipe a month – check.

Stop impulse purchases – check (I may need to make that one again – it only lasted a few years).

Run a half marathon – check.

Plan and save for massive round the world trip – check.

These were not small dreams in my estimation, and I relished setting out my plans and making them become a reality. I saved, worked extra shifts, made the necessary sacrifices, trained hard and felt really sweet when I could see my plans become reality.

A few years ago, everything changed. I turned 40 and suddenly felt rudderless. I didn’t feel as if I had any real big goals inside me. This led me to take a few days off after the birthday passed and after a frantic couple of years of being at the helm of two organizations which are dearly important to me which I fitted in between working full time as well as seeing friends and family and my newly found love for blogging.

And during that time off, I fractured my ankle and I spent the next 2 months on the couch being very grumpy to anyone in my vicinity! I am not a good patient…

So I entered 2018 with no goals, aims or resolutions except to be able to walk, drive and re-enter normal human life. And it was indeed an interesting year. Spoiler alert – I can drive (although my ankle does get tired on long drives) and by the end of 2018, I could walk for 45 minutes , so I feel as if I have achieved the things I set out at the beginning of the year.

I also wrote a book which (you can grab a copy here) and continued to blog even when I thought I had nothing to say. I found the courage to blog about a few things that I never thought I would verbalize. I completed a certification earlier this year that really pushed me to my limits, and I completed a novel during November for Nanowrimo (now edited and also available here)

None of these things had been on my radar at the beginning of 2018.

So at the beginning of 2019 I faced a dilemma, once which I honestly didn’t reconcile that year. As I sat there, thinking about what that year would bring, looking for my 2019 day planner, transferring important recurring dates, I had no idea what plans or goals to set.

I’d had success living the planning life up until that point. It had definitely served me well. I even enjoyed its mostly predictable nature(even though things didn’t always go according to the plan).

However, 2018, though thoroughly unplanned – was terrifying and stressful and a number of tears and tantrums were had. But I cannot deny that it has also been one of my most creative years, where I have totally gone outside my comfort zone and achieved things that were not a part of even my biggest dreams.

In contrast – 2020 threw many of us all around the world into situations that we definitely hadn’t (maybe even could not) plan for. I had small plans that year – a local launch of my first published book and a 3 month sabbatical to travel and visit friends that I have not seen in far too long. Instead, my job of 10 years came to an unexpected end, and worldwide lockdowns and quarantines meant that many of us became unemployed, lost loved ones, and continue to face a global pandemic that has touched us all in unimaginable ways.

This year (which lets face it feels like a continuation of 2020) I have actually felt like setting some goals for the first time in several years.

However, my question still lingers – planning or magic?

I don’t see anything wrong with planning. Obviously. And it is a great way to achieve so many of the things I dreamed about and bring them into reality. But I also wonder what opportunities I miss when I am laser focused on my plans. And this isn’t about FOMO (fear of missing out) or regret, I am just genuinely surprised at what I was able to pull off when I had nothing planned.

And the thing about planning and setting goals for me – even big goals – is that I feel as if I am limited by my own imagination, by my ability to only plan within the realms of what I believe is possible.

I worry that I can be limited by my idea of what I can afford, of what I can envision, of what I can achieve… By what I know how to do.

This was such an important lesson I learned in 2020. During our lockdown, I wasn’t going into work every day (although I was still responsible for emergency treatment some days) and I realized that one resource I had lacked for quite some time was headspace. With many of my days wide open, I was able to master the tech required to start a podcast (you can check out season 1 here, and I plan to work on season 2 this year), create a quiz, even run group coaching programs for writers. I also finally found the courage to do a proper decluttering of my apartment and throw out many items that I had been holding onto. It was a hard year for me and for many of us, but it taught me that I was capable of much more than I was aware of, and I believe that is true for all of us.

We often underestimate what we are capable of. What we can overcome. What we can survive. We underestimate our abilities to do hard things – have hard conversations, walk away from situations that are not ideal, find love after loss, pick up the pieces and begin again. We set small goals because we are afraid of the big ones, and we cannot imagine the ones that will truly change our lives. At least – I know that was true for me. When my time and my headspace was cluttered with what I was doing every day, with the goals I had set and the steps I was taking to achieve them, I could not even imagine what else could be possible.

And honestly – I was a firm believer that failing to plan was planning to fail. I did not think it was possible to achieve the things that I could not envision or imagine, and maybe in some instances, it is true.

But what if it isn’t?

What if leaving space for magic, for adventure and inspired action can lead to fantastic and beautiful places? I think back on a number of the unplanned detours I made, and I had some of my best times and met some tremendous people. And don’t get me wrong – these things required action on my part too! But it is just a different point of view that I am thinking about at the moment.

And what if (when we did make them) we made goals that blew our minds. That we had no idea how to achieve. That we weren’t even sure we were capable of. That stretched us to the max. That weren’t SMART (ie Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time Based) but that instead were WTAFHTHAISTDT (What The Actual F*** How the Hell Am I Supposed To Do This!)

I am sorry that I don’t have the answer for you – indeed I don’t even have it for myself. I am just putting this out here – what if we left space for magic? For inspiration? For adventure? What if we took inspired action? The road less travelled? Said yes to the things that we weren’t sure we could afford because they made our hearts sing with joy? Attempted to do things that we did not even imagine were possible… What if…

And can I find a way to see my WTAFHTHAISTDT goals for 2021 through and still leave space for the magic that comes when there is space for spontaneous adventures?

Ask me again at the end of this year.

So my question for today – what do YOU prefer - planning or magic?

Do you set SMART attainable goals, or do you attempt things that you have no idea how to get to?

I look forward to your comments.

And in the meantime - I send you big love from a small island.

PS the photo above shows me taking some unplanned action, and jumping off a bridge, in the midst of me living one of my most fun plans - a trip around the world with my best friend.

And if you want to read about one of the other lessons I learned in 2020, you’ll find it here.