Help!! The three weirdest types of help I ever received!

Inspired by a friend’s social media post today, I have been thinking about help, and how it comes in all shapes and sizes. Today I am writing about the three weirdest types of help I have asked for (and received) over the past few years. Because if you are anything like me - you might not like asking for help at all, and you may find it hard to receive it.

But the truth is, no man or woman is an island, and we all need help from time to time. Writing this post is also a gentle reminder to me to ask for help. And that when I ask for help, it is best to release expectations about exactly what I want that help to look like or what the outcome will be. Sometimes help can come from the most unexpected places, in the most unexpected ways. 

One area I don’t tend to ask for much help with is baking. I mean I won’t kick out anyone who offers to do the dishes, but for the actual baking - I’m tend to want to keep it to myself. And the reason? I am super perfectionist when it comes to baking. I need to weights to be specific to the last gram. I sometimes even weigh my eggs. I like to follow recipes like a bloodhound. I’ve been known to remove a single grain of rice from the bowl on the scale before cooking it.

There is something magical about baking. Placing random ingredients (that either taste bad or are very one dimensional in flavor) together just so…. mixing them in this particular order just so…. and putting it in the oven. And out pops something that is entirely more than the sum of its parts. But more than magic it is science, and I like to be precise. There is one thing I realized about asking for help. Some people don’t like you standing over their shoulder telling them how to help you.

As an aside, I’m curious to know what you think about this. If you ask someone for help, how acceptable is it to specify how the help is given? Is micromanaging allowed? Or does it depend on who you are asking? (Let me know in the comments). Back to my story. Since I’m pretty specific about how I like my baking done, I find it easier to do it myself. However, sometimes I ask my younger sister, especially at Christmas when I have a ton of baking to do for corporate baskets, as well as for family and friends. There is gluten free baking. Bajan greatcake for the Christmas hampers. Different types of cookies for the children and for the offices. Tannenbaum nut bread for Christmas morning breakfast. And lemon cake for everyone.

A few years ago I gave in and asked my sister to come and help me, and she agreed. It should have been a warning sign to me when she agreed so easily but I assumed she just wanted to help taste them, (and in all fairness she did!) When she arrived however, she made herself comfortable on the couch with a book. I continued to bake, assuming she would eventually come and help, and time passed. When I eventually told her that I had made about 4 types of cookies and needed her to go to the supermarket and get more ingredients, she said no. I was furious, and asked her “how is this helping?” “This is helping!” She replied. “I’m saving you from yourself. You do not need to make any more cookies!” She then put the kettle on and coerced me into making some tea and taking a break. To be honest, I wasn’t pleased. But later that evening as we parceled them out, there were more than enough. I have a habit of going overboard, while my sister- the more conservative has the knack for pulling me back and as she calls it - saving me from myself. While it wasn’t the type of help I was expecting, it was just what I needed at the time.  

Travelling to far away places has meant that I have needed some unusual help. I once had to ask to be let back onto the plane because I dropped my passport between the seats. I was once thrown off a train in the middle of the night due to visa issues and I needed help finding somewhere to stay until my best friend (who also happened to be the map reader) arrived. And this was pre- social media and pre- google. In Tanzania I had to get help convincing a local policeman that I was not in fact a local Tanzanian who had stolen a British driving license (which was actually mine).

And it was there in Tanzania where I also needed help transforming recipes and cakes, which behaved differently due to the altitude, I needed help from a translator so that I could talk to my patients, and buy food in the market. And I needed help evicting Giant spiders and roaches from my room at night. One of the most memorable times I needed help though, was one night while we were on safari in the middle of the Serengeti, and our truck broke down. There we sat, listening to the noises of the animals around us, wonder how they decided who to eat first (and if it would be the person with the biggest camera). We had to wait to be rescued. That was some of the strangest and yet most wonderful help I received while I was on a trip.

More recently, I needed help as I nursed a fractured ankle and was not allowed to weight bear for several weeks. I never realized how difficult it would be to use crutches while carrying a cup of tea, and in that moment when I could not even bring my cup over to the couch and wallow in misery, I knew I would need some help. I was fortunate to have my sisters, my nephew, my friends and my workmates help by giving me ideas, rearranging my furniture, and even lending me a chair for the shower. But the most helpful item I received during that time was the loan of a knee scooter from a wonderful lady who sadly passed away some months ago.

I didn’t know her that well but she was a colleague and friend to my sister, and she sent me the scooter which saved her life when she had a fractured ankle some years prior. I don’t know what I would have done without it. It meant I could get into the bathroom unaided. I could leave home and scoot around the supermarket. And I could bring that cup of tea out of the kitchen. It was not the first time I received help from someone who I didn’t know that well, and who I could never repay. And in truth, my life has been blessed by the kindness and help of others so many times - teachers, neighbours, workmates, friends and family. Even when I was too proud, too stubborn or too micromanagey to ask for it. And I have the privilege of lending a hand whenever I can as well.

So… there you have it! A few of my strange stories of help. I’d love to hear yours! Do you like to ask for help or do you find it hard? What is a strange situation you needed help with? Do you ask for help and then release expectations, or do you expect the helper to do things exactly the way you want them? Lastly, when did you ask for help, and get assistance you didn’t expect but that was exactly what you needed at the time? 

I look forward to your responses.

And I send you big love from a small island.